I am 20 years old and the most beautitful woman on earth. I am also the strongest and the quickest. I tell you this not with pride or arrogance - it is a simple statement of fact. I wear a white dress, my hair is jet black and hangs down to below my waist. My body is bronzed and you can see the muscles sliding under my skin. I move like a cat. When I look in a mirror, even I am shocked at the extent of my beauty. I am mesmerising - sophisticated men jabber like fools when they see me.
I am looking for my soulmate. I first saw her many months ago. A mirror image of me but dazzlingly fairskinned with hair almost white. A face like an angel. I ran after her but she disappeared in the crowd. Every day I tour the city from early morning until late at night looking for her. They know me now in every restaurant, bar and club and nowhere is beyond my reach. I comb the brothels and the strip clubs. The bouncers know that I could kill them with my bare hands and they treat me with extreme respect.
I am still a virgin and will stay that way until I choose differently
Maybe she was a visiting foreigner? I don't know. The trail is growing cold and I am beginning to panic. Maybe I will never find her? I walk into a new restaurant at 4pm. It is packed but gradually the place comes to a standstill as people see me. Then you can hear a pin drop. They stare at me in astonishment. Most of them have no idea who I am but I hear somebody whisper my name.
I look round for her but she is not here. As I turn to leave a man knocks a glass of champagne off his table but I catch it in a sweeping curve. Very slowly and deliberately I launch the champagne glass into the air. It soars upwards until it reaches the ceiling and then starts to descend. When it has almost reached the floor, I catch it on my foot, hand it to the man and leave. Not a drop is spilled The diners gasp.
The manager comes running after me and gives me a banknote for 100 Reals.
"That was amazing" he says "You are welcome here anytime - you can eat for free - anything you want"
I thank him and explain about my search and he nods.
"I will keep my eyes open. How do I find you?"
"Just give word in the favela" I reply
He goes pale and crosses himself as he realises who I am.
"I am sorry. I have seen your shrine but did not realise. The money was meant with respect. I am sorry."
He is clearly frightened and almost in tears. I smile to re-assure him
"I thank you. I know you meant no harm and I appreciate your offer"
Even so he backs away from me.
Yes, I roam the favelas looking for her. I encounter the gangs but they too cross themselves and bow.
"It is the Madonna - she killed those three guys"
I didn't actually kill them but I so easily could have and they know that. The three men, all in their early twenties had made obscene gestures to me as I walked
past but I had ignored them and walked on.
They ran after me and the first one tried to grab me but it was like he was moving in slow motion. I broke his arm with a sweep of my foot and the second one went down clutching his knee. The third one started to run away but I brought him down and as he stood up I kicked him mercilessly in the balls and he too went down screaming.
I picked two of them up, one in each hand, held them above my head and threw them both on top of the first to make a point.
More guys arrived and I stood facing them
"I will kill you all if I have to - one by one"
One of them pulled out a gun but before he had a chance to aim it I had in in my hand and shot him in the left leg - he too fell over screaming.
All this screaming - have they no pride?
There was confusion, they assumed he had shot himself by accident but then they gradually realised I was holding his gun.
"The next one dies" I said
I looked up and shot out every street light I could see until the gun was empty. I bent the barrel with my bare hands and tossed it onto the ground.
A guy in a red jacket picked up the gun and tried to straighten it but I knew he could not do so. The leader looked at me warily
"I don't know who or what you are but you have my respect - if anybody tries to harm you I will kill them"
"Thank you" I replied "and I will not kill any of you unless it is unavoidable"
In retrospect this may not sound funny but it was and we all laughed so much we were almost in tears.
As I turned to leave, the man in the red jacket bent down and kissed my foot as a joke but then they all queued up to do it, even the leader.
"In years to come I will tell my children that I kissed the most beautiful woman on earth" He said and we all laughed again.
I left knowing I was now untouchable.
A few weeks later a patrol of heavily armed police stopped me as I headed towards the favella.
"Why are you going in there?" the sergeant demanded
"They are my friends and I am looking for somebody" I replied
He nodded slowly "Friends? If you have enemies ... I think they should be ... concerned"
We then had a conversation about street lights but he let me proceed. On the fringe of the favella I was stopped by the outer watchmen
who politely asked what the police had wanted. I explained that the police had said
"Why did you waste your time on the street lights?"
They howled with laughter. When they had stopped laughing they wanted to know if it was true that I was a virgin. I knew they were not mocking me so I nodded and they all bowed in respect.
In due course you could not move without seeing my picture painted on the walls - sometimes with flowers underneath and prayers on slips of paper. I claim no credit for this. My mother was the most famous beauty on the entire continent and my father was a world champion middle weight boxer - renowned for his strength and speed. Sadly, they are now both dead.
They met by sheer chance in a bar, rushed off to a hotel and I was the result. After they had parted, my mother could scarcely move and was
scared she had broken something so she disguised herself as best she could and went to the A & E. The doctors examined her and took X rays
but finally told her that she had just suffered severe bruising. The doctor in charge then looked at her sternly
"Have you reported this to the police? A man who could do this to you, might well kill you in due course" he said
My mother looked embarrassed "No, he was not trying to hurt me - we just got carried away, I guess. Now do you understand?"
They understood.
---------And now I have found her. She appeared out of nowhere - just standing in the street like an ordinary human being. A vision of fairness in a black dress. A photographic negative of me - achingly beautiful. I scream out and she turns to look and then starts running towards me and I instantly know who she really is. We hug and kiss and then walk down the street hand in hand. The crowds part in awe, people have tears streaming down their cheeks, we are so beautiful.
I hear a man say "How can I go home to my wife?" His friend shrugs his shoulders, he too is in tears.
I am so happy that I jump onto her shoulders and she lifts me with one hand and before we know it we are tumbling and swooping - testing
each other. We are moving so fast that people tell me afterwards it was all just a blur. She is as strong and fast as me and this is a totally
alien experience for both of us.
She runs with me to the favela and when they see us coming the place goes totally nuts. They are screaming and crying and people insist on kissing our feet. She is baffled and I have to explain but then she joins in the spirit of things and we eventually leave like conquering heroes.
On the way out the police stop us and they too line up to kiss our feet. Next day we fill the local papers and then the satellite trucks arrive and within a week we are world famous and suddenly I am only the second most beautiful woman on earth.
But I don't mind - she is my sister.
Bob Cory April 2020
Modified on 14/08/2023 at 09:27:20 by ℗ Bob Cory