"There were only two things certain in life: death and taxes" Benjamin Franklin
If you forget everything I have ever written do NOT forget this: if you make a huge profit on something, instantly go to your accountant and tell him you wish to IMMEDIATELY pay the tax. Otherwise, as certain as eggs are eggs ((and they really are eggs) there will come a time in the future when your investments are not doing quite as well as you expected or your huge new development is not selling and HMRC will turn up and demand £1m in taxes within 30 days and you won't have it handy. Then you are totally screwed. As in totally very screwed.
Your accountant will explain that you are being silly and could easily invest in a "safe" product that pays 4% and you are giving away tens of thousands of pounds because you listened to some geriatric old fart on the internet (me). DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM.. Pay the frigging tax. Seriously, pay the frigging tax. I do mean it, pay the frigging tax now.
This is a criminal offence. What typically happens is that a guy goes over his overdraft limit by £20,000 and suddenly his local, friendly bank manager is less friendly and demands the £20,000 within 30 days or else. And "else" is not something the guy wants to explore right now. So, he looks down the back of the sofa and finds £20,000 in cash and pays it into the bank.
Problem solved! Unfortunately not - the problem is still growing like dry rot (see above). Three years later, HMRC want to know where the £20,000 came from and obviously the guy is now screwed and wondering how he is going to pay the penalties (finding £50,000 under the mattress is inadvisable) or which prison they will send him to.
"No man in the country is under the smallest obligation, moral or other, so to arrange his legal relations to his business or property as to enable the Inland Revenue to put the largest possible shovel in his stores. The Inland Revenue is not slow, and quite rightly, to take every advantage which is open to it under the Taxing Statutes for the purposes of depleting the taxpayer's pocket. And the taxpayer is in like manner entitled to be astute to prevent, so far as he honestly can, the depletion of his means by the Inland Revenue" James Avon Clyde, Lord Advocate and Lord President of the Court of Session
"If a car is driving at 40mph in an area with a speed limit of 40 mph on a dry sunny day with good visibility then it is not permisible for spectators to claim that the driver is going too fast and should be prosecuted" Bob Cory
In other words, if somebody does something that is totally legal, either change the law or shut the fuck up. Ideally, just the latter.
So what about all these clever schemes? Well, over the years I have paid countless millions in taxes and have obviously been tempted by these clever schemes but I have never ever used one. Why not? Because they have always seemed contrived and artificial and I have always been scared that HMRC would attack them relentlessly and then I would be in real trouble.
And guess what, they have and people are. In trouble, that is. A lot of trouble. Huge penalties, massive legal bills and now living in a bedsit. Shiver.
Don't do that - pay the frigging tax now. Did I mention that earlier?
You know what is coming and you are right.
In 1989 I sold some 50 acres of land at Thorne on a junction of the M18 to BMW for £1.75m (now their UK Headquarters). Since I had only paid Christian Salveson £110,000 for it to a few years previously, that meant I had made a decent profit - more than usual in fact. Normally, I aimed at making only 100% in a couple of years - I am not a greedy person.
So I invested the money (all of it and some) in yet more profitable opportunities. And everything was ticking along nicely but slowing down a bit - sometimes I was struggling to make 20%, never mind 1000% and then right out of the blue I got a tax demand for about £700,000 - quite a lot of money in 1992. And I did not have it.
Now more by luck than judgement, I made a couple of property sales that went through just in time. Phew - very scary.
PAY THE FRIGGING TAX NOW
Bob Cory
Modified on 15/09/2019 at 10:34:36 by ℗ Bob Cory